


Field Trip to Stark Industries

by Hidden_Prophet



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Tony Stark, Clint is in the vents, Dysfunctional Family, Field Trip, Flash is a jerk, Gen, Irondad, Is this too many tags, Kid Peter Parker, Married Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter is their son, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, aunt may isnt dead, but he gets whats coming to him, but we love them anyway, crisis notebook makes an appearance, fangirl ned, happy is happy, literally just for fun, overused field trip prompt, really all the Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 16:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19445089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hidden_Prophet/pseuds/Hidden_Prophet
Summary: Really, he should have expected this. It was just his Parker Luck™ that his year’s senior field trip turned out to be the literal worst place he could think of. Peter had always hated going on field trips. They never turned out good for him (read: the spider bite at Oscorp and a literal alien invasion that had him in trouble with his school for weeks when he couldn’t tell them where he’d run off to during his Decathlon tournament,) but this one would be the most disastrous for one reason and one reason only.They were going to Stark Industries.





	1. Peter Parker and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So I've been sucked into the dark abyss that is Field Trip Fics (Seriously, bury me with them when I die) and I've been reading them nonstop for weeks. So I finally decided to write one of my own!
> 
> Please keep in mind that it's been quite a while since I've seen any of the Avengers movies other than Infinity War and The Movie That Shall Not Be Named starring Ugly Grape, so some things might not line up correctly with the timeline and whatnot. And honestly, this was more for me, anyway, so things didn't have to make complete sense, but I figured I'd share.
> 
> Also, the Russian used in this story is obviously taken from Google Translate, so it’s most definitely wrong. (The translations will be made directly after so you don’t have to go scrounging for the translation page.)
> 
> Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing here except for the writing, itself, and the ideas.

Really, he should have expected this. It was just his Parker Luck™ that his year’s senior field trip turned out to be the literal worst place he could think of. Peter had always hated going on field trips. They never turned out good for him (read: the spider bite at Oscorp and a literal alien invasion that had him in trouble with his school for weeks when he couldn’t tell them where he’d run off to during his Decathlon tournament,) but this one would be the most disastrous for one reason and one reason only.

They were going to Stark Industries.

Had it been a few years ago, Peter would have been as ecstatic as Ned at the prospect of touring the most scientifically advanced company in the world and would have crossed his fingers that they’d run into Tony Stark, himself, while they were there. Now, however, the thought of touring his own home and running into his dad was much less thrilling. Not that anyone knew that he’d been adopted by Tony and Pepper nearly a year prior. Well, with the exception of Ned and MJ, who already knew everything, anyway, after MJ admitted to figuring out his identity shortly after he’d told Ned.

The year before, Aunt May had accosted him in the doorway after school, too excited to possibly wait until the announcement dinner Happy had planned for that night, and told him that she was engaged. Peter had been overjoyed; he liked Happy and knew he could be a real sweetheart when he wasn’t around Tony or dealing with problems the Avengers caused on a near daily basis, and he thought May deserved to be happy.

The ceremony had been small; the Avengers and Peter’s friends had been the only ones in attendance, but Peter knew neither newlywed wanted something big. A few months after, Peter began to notice things. It wasn’t that they were annoyed with his presence and he knew that his aunt loved him like her own son, but he realized that Aunt May had always wanted her own children and had said on more than one occasion that she’d like to move outside the city (seriously, why do all these alien invasions start in Manhattan?) and he found himself feeling like he was intruding more often than not. So it wasn’t as hard of a decision as he thought to suggest that Tony and Pepper adopt him. He spent most of his time at the Tower, anyway, and it would give her the freedom to move and start a family without worrying about uprooting him from his school and offsetting his Spider-Man responsibilities.

There’d been a lot of tears that night, but Peter softly reminded the woman clinging to his shirt with her face buried in his chest (when did you get so tall, Pete?) that really, what was changing? She’d always be his aunt and it wasn’t like they’d never see each other again. She only released him when he promised up and down that he’d stay with her for a full weekend every month and that he’d be the best cousin to her future kids.

Asking Tony to adopt him the next morning when he went into work was nerve-wracking to say the least, and Peter hadn’t been able to get through the whole proposal without stuttering and flushing an alarming shade of bright red. Tony had been absolutely overjoyed and admitted, to Peter’s absolute chagrin and delight, that he’d always seen Peter as his son. Pepper had expressed a similar thought with a warm grin as she kissed his forehead.

The paperwork had been drawn up fast; courtesy of having the most influential man in America as both a billionaire and the literal savior of the city several times over as your future father. Which, if he took the time to really think about it, still took Peter’s head for a spin even after a year of acclimating. They hadn’t announced the adoption publicly (Peter didn’t even want to think about the repercussions of coming out as Tony Stark’s kid with his class and the press-- Flash still thought he was lying about his internship and there was no way he’d believe Ironman was his dad) but Peter had okay’d Tony’s decision to announce it to the Avengers.

Everyone had been elated and Peter found himself thrust headfirst into the most welcoming, loving, dysfunctional family of superheroes there was. He loved his many, many, many aunts and uncles dearly.

But he couldn’t help but despise them a little at the moment because there was no way his father didn’t know about the trip and there was a very high probability that the “yearly family dinner” Tony planned was set for the day of the trip for the express purpose of gathering all Avengers to the Tower, whether they were on missions or not, to embarrass him in front of his classmates. He just really hoped no one found out about his late night activities involving him running around in spandex busting Bad Guys™ and helping little old ladies cross the street.

“Peter, you okay?” Ned questioned, a concerned frown on his face, from his desk beside Peter.

The boy merely groaned as Mr. Warren, following the announcement that had had him shaking excitedly in his seat all afternoon, passed out the parent permission forms for the trip. The man, oblivious to the student currently knee-deep in personal crisis (something MJ was finding particularly funny as she sketched the poor boy hunched over his desk in pain,) returned to the front of the room after the last slip was handed out and began listing off the rules that Peter was too distracted to hear.

“Peter?” Ned tried again, gently prodding the other boy with his finger.

Peter glanced up at his best friend and grimaced. “My whole family is going to be there, Ned. All of them. Dad probably planned this on purpose to embarrass me. And that’s not even the worst of it! What if someone figures out that I’m… you know?”

“Wait. Every Avenger will be there? Even Thor? What about Ant-Man? Will we get to meet Black Panther? Or-”

“Hey, loser, we’ve already met most of them,” MJ interrupted with an exasperated eyeroll.

“Well, yeah. But still,” Ned argued.

Peter groaned once again and pressed his forehead to the cool wood of his desk. “Kashoot me now.”

“What’s wrong, Penis? Scared that I’m going to expose your lies?” taunted a very familiar and highly grating voice. “Now everyone will know you’re not actually an intern!”

“It’s better to let someone think you’re stupid than open your mouth and prove it,” MJ shot back with a scowl. Flash turned red in anger and opened his mouth to reply when Mr. Warren snapped.

“Settle down, children. Miss Jones, I don’t tolerate bullying,” the man scolded, causing Peter to actually lift his head and stare in astonishment.

Before anyone could argue-- namely MJ-- the bell rang, signalling the end of a rather horrible day. Peter rose to his feet and shouldered his bag, staring down at the paper on his desk like it had committed a horrible offense.

“It’s not that bad, Peter,” Ned told him with a reassuring smile. “You have an actual internship with your dad now, so there’s proof. Imagine Flash’s face when he realizes you weren’t lying! And I don’t think Mr. Stark would allow a tour if there was danger of our class figuring out that you’re… you know.”

Peter sighed heavily. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But maybe, just in case, I won’t come in. Aunt May said she’s been wanting me to visit and I could get Clint to call me in sick. He’s getting really good at impersonating Dad over the phone.”

“What? Come on, dude, this will be awesome! Besides, don’t you want to rub it in Flash’s face?”

“I dunno. I’ll think about it.”

Probably figuring he’d come around eventually, Ned followed him out of the classroom. “So, I got a new Millennium Falcon Lego set for my birthday. Want to come over and help me assemble it?”

“Uh, I would, but I have to patrol tonight. Later?”

“Yeah, sure thing. See you tomorrow, Peter.”

The boy nodded and started down the sidewalk. With Happy taking personal time off with May’s looming due date, Peter decided to let the other Avengers off and walk to and from school. It took time and he’d had to wake up even earlier to get to class on time, but he liked that it gave him a chance to think. He was especially grateful for it in that moment; he wasn’t exactly eager to go home to two spies, a mind reader, and a handful of people who were more than capable of torturing him to the brink of death for information. It was likely the field trip would not stay a secret by the end of dinner, and that was only if they didn’t already know.

Peter sighed as he walked home, wondering just how in the world he was going to get out of this one.

♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥.·:*:·.♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥

·.·´`·.·•BOOP•·.·´`·.·

That night, after a particularly boring patrol, Peter joined his family in the kitchen for dinner. It was Bucky’s turn to cook, so even Peter, as nauseous as he felt about having his family find out about the field trip, had no choice but to leave his room and settle down in the chair next to Natasha and Bruce.

“Привет паук сын, (Hello, spider-son,)” Nat said when he sat down, smiling knowingly at him with an amused glint in her eyes. Damn, she knew.

Peter sighed and prayed to whatever deity would listen that she was in a charitable mood that night and wouldn’t throw him under the bus. “Паук мама, (Spider-mom,)” he greeted, avoiding her eyes.

“Hey, Underoos. Where’ve you been?”

The boy glanced at Tony and shrugged. “Homework.”

The Avengers looked around, confused at his distant reply, but Pepper was the first one to ask, “What’s wrong, hun?”

“He’s nervous about this,” Natasha piped up and Peter glanced over at her, surprised to see her on her feet right behind him with a sheet of paper in her hand. He silently cursed Thor’s name, wondering how he hadn’t managed to see her leave the room. When he recognized the slip of paper, he scowled and very nearly left the table-- Bucky’s food or not.

“Hand it here,” Tony said and Peter swore his father was laughing at him. Nat did so with a smirk at Peter. Kill me now, Peter thought to himself miserably.

“Wanda is now my favorite aunt,” he said, crossing his arms and slouching in his seat as Tony looked over the permission form.

“Who do you think told me where it was?” Nat asked him and he gaped, whipping his head around to glare at the redhead muffling a laugh with her hand.

“I changed my mind. Clint’s my favorite aunt.”

“Ha!” Clint exclaimed, sticking his tongue out at Nat before he gasped in offense and looked at Peter. “Hey!”

“What is it?” Steve asked, turning everyone’s attention from where Peter was sticking his tongue out childishly at Clint.

“A parent permission slip for a field trip,” Tony said, glancing up to grin at his son.

Steve smiled and turned to Peter. “Really? Where are you going?”

Peter sighed and slumped in his seat. “Here,” he mumbled.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” Clint said, grinning almost as widely as Tony.

Fixing him with a deadly glare, Peter repeated himself, “Here.”

Steve didn’t seem to have a response to that. Bucky, however, did as he rounded the corner carrying a glass tupperware of something smelling absolutely delicious, “Kid, why do these things happen to you?”

“Exactly! It’s like God is punishing me for something,” Peter whined, ignoring the amused looks on everyone’s faces.

“Probably for the chickens you corralled into Clint’s room last week,” Nat piped in, grinning wickedly at the archer as Pepper’s brows rose.

“I can still hear the screams,” Peter said with a serene smile, ignoring his mother’s disapproving ‘Peter!’

Bucky quirked a brow as he sat down beside Steve. “Chickens scream?”

Tony chuckled. “Oh, no. The screams were Clint’s.”

“Can we eat now?” Clint asked, desperately trying to turn the attention away from himself.

“Yes, let’s. Before I find out that it was my son who blew up Lab B last month,” Pepper said with a frown, passing out plates as Steve filled them.

“Actually,” Bruce chimed in with a sheepish grin, “that was me.”

Peter watched with a content smile as his family began pestering the scientist, who in turn ratted out Tony for raiding the kitchen and snatching Sam’s pudding cups. As they bickered, Peter couldn’t help but feel happy. His family was fifty shades of dysfunctional, but he’d never felt more at home. They would most certainly try to embarrass him on Friday, but in that moment, he decided to let himself relax, leaving that problem for future Peter to figure out.


	2. Please Let This Be a Normal Field Trip

Friday snuck up on Peter when the week flew by. Before he knew it, his home had been invaded by some of the honorary Avengers that didn’t stay at the Tower on a regular basis. First it had been Doctor Strange Tuesday morning coming through one of his portals, and then Thor and Loki that afternoon. Peter had been excited to see them again and had given an extra long hug to his favorite Uncle Loki, who’d pretended to despise the embrace, but Peter knew him well enough by then to know that he was secretly pleased at the affection. 

King T’Challa had arrived Wednesday with Princess Shuri in tow, who threw the whole Tower into chaos. Peter always loved when they’d visit, because there was no one better than Shuri to run around the Lab with as they worked on dangerous experiments while spouting of vines and creating new memes for Spider-Man’s official tumblr account. 

Scott Lang and his daughter, Cassie, showed up on Thursday morning. Cassie had shrieked Peter’s name, throwing her small body into his arms in excitement, and the two spent the next four hours playing hide-and-seek around the Tower.

By Thursday night, the Tower had been in shambles from the excess occupants and Peter felt both excitement and dread for the following day. Excitement because, well, he hadn’t seen Carol and the Guardians in a while and they all said they’d drop in just in time for dinner. But he had to survive his Field Trip of Embarrassment first, and he was certainly not looking forward to the Avengers crashing it like Tony had most definitely planned, even though Pepper claimed that she’d keep them as far away as she possibly could so that the boy could actually enjoy his time at the Tower.

“Are you okay, man? You look really sweaty,” Ned told him, cutting through Peter’s thoughts and bringing him back to the present where the group was waiting outside the school.

The boy met his friend’s eyes and swallowed. “Yeah, sorry. Mom said she’d keep everyone in line last night, and she’s amazing and they all listen to her, but there’s also the literal god of mischief staying at the Tower right now so who knows what will happen.”

“No Way! Loki is there? Do you think we’ll run into him?”

Peter furrowed his brow. “Uncle Loki? Oh, yeah. I’m not worried about him. I was actually talking about Shuri.”

At the mention of Shuri’s name, MJ visibly perked up. She seemed to realize that and tried to make herself look less interested. “Shuri will be there? That’s cool.”

“Alright, class, it looks like everyone’s here!” Mr. Warren announced, cutting of Peter’s amused reply. “Just a few things before we leave; whatever you are told to do by our tour guide, do it. Keep your hands to yourself and don’t wander off. Are we clear? Yes? Good. On you go!”

Peter groaned as students began to file onto the bus. Flash made a point to shoulder-check him on his way passed, hissing something to the effect that the whole school would figure out that he was a liar.

“Don’t listen to him,” Ned told Peter as they took their seats on the bus. “Imagine his face when you pass through security and F.R.I.D.A.Y announces that you have the highest possible clearance,” he added with a grin.

Peter froze. “Oh my God, what if they figure out who I am?”

“Everyone already knows you’re a liar, Penis!” Flash hollered. MJ glared at him and said something about him being proof that evolution could go backwards.

Ned chuckled, but turned back to Peter after a second as he lowered his voice, “How can I possibly keep Spider-Man a secret from everyone?”

“Hey, Hannah Montanna did it and all she had was a wig,” Ned pointed out.

“Not helping,” Peter said miserably.

Ned shrugged. “Well, hey, I’m sure that if there was an actual threat to your secret identity, your old man would have called this off, right? And your mom is smart enough to take care of everything beforehand if he didn’t.”

Peter nodded hesitantly. He had no doubts that his family would respect his wishes to stay hidden behind the mask and Pepper was, in fact, smart enough and responsible enough to cover every base. “Okay, yeah. That… that actually does help. But it doesn’t stop my family from showing up.”

“Dude, not only would Flash have a hemorrhage when he realizes you actually do know the Avengers, but you’d be the coolest kid in our class.”

“That’s just it! I don’t want to be the coolest kid. I just want to get through this unscathed.”

Before Ned could reply, a girl’s shriek sounded from the front of the bus. “Ohmygosh we’re here!”

The whole class began talking over each other excitedly, staring out the windows as Stark Industries came into view, with the exception of Peter and MJ, who sat there sketching him with what he assumed was a Crisis Notebook worthy expression on his face.

“Ready to have your lies exposed, Penis?” Flash called as the bus pulled up out front.

Peter chose to ignore him, his heart thumping painfully when the class started getting off the bus. He’d come through the front on occasion, like when he’d ended up staying over at May’s for the weekend and wasn’t already in the building, so the lobby wasn’t unfamiliar, and sometimes he even enjoyed talking to the security workers and meeting fellow interns on their way up to their labs, but seeing it this time only made him gulp.

As the class stepped through the doors and gasped, talking excitedly as they took in the rather impressive lobby, a woman with auburn hair strode up to them. Peter recognized her from the higher level labs and recalled working with her earlier on in the month to brainstorm new formulas for webfluid.

The woman, Peter remembered her name as Rachel, eyed the group and smiled politely. “You must be Midtown! Welcome to Stark Industries,” she said. “My name is Rachel Wilson and I’ll be your tour guide today!”

Before he could think twice, shoulders losing some tension at the pleasant surprise of seeing a familiar face, Peter opened his mouth, “Hey, Rachel. How’s Eren?”

The woman blinked in surprise at being addressed and turned to Peter before a large smile lit up her face. “Peter! She’s doing great, actually. Two more weeks until we reach the due date.”

“That’s awesome! You two will make the best moms,” Peter told her happily. “Michael will be the luckiest kid.”

“That’s sweet, Pete. Thanks.” She paused, tilting her head. “Mr. Stark didn’t send you down to help with the tour, did he?” she asked after a stunned moment of silence from the teenagers.

“Uh, no. I’m here with my class,” he replied, rubbing his neck awkwardly as he remembered that, himself. He avoided looking behind him at the flabbergasted students watching the exchange.

“Oh, how neat. Maybe I’ll show you something you haven’t seen before, then,” Rachel joked before turning to the class with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that, kiddos. As I was saying, I’ll be your tour guide! Before we begin, I’m going to hand out your guest badges. These will give you limited access to the building. Please keep them on your person and visible at all times to appease our security team. When the tour is over, the badges will become virtually useless so you’re welcome to keep them as souvenirs. If you were planning on sneaking back in with it later, I’m sorry to disappoint,” she teased, only partially serious. “When I call your name, please come grab yours and wait for further instructions.” 

Peter watched as his classmates received their badges, reluctantly pulling his own out of his back pocket and slipping it around his neck. Flash scoffed when he saw it and stepped closer. “Where’d you get that? It’s illegal to forge security badges, you know. It doesn’t even look like these!”

“It’s not a guest badge,” Peter informed him, shoving passed as the last student received their lanyard.

“Is that everyone?” Rachel asked. “Oh, good, you found yours, Peter. I’m certain F.R.I.D.A.Y would let you in, regardless, but it’s always good to be prepared.”

One of the girls behind him frowned and raised a hand. “What’s F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

Rachel winked at her and motioned for the class to move closer to the security checkpoint. She stepped out of her shoes and placed them in the tray along with her watch before moving through the machine.

“Rachel Wilson. Code Gold. Access level five. Nothing prohibited on person.”

At the gasps of several of the students, Rachel turned around and grinned. “That, kiddos, is F.R.I.D.A.Y, Mr. Stark’s AI. She has eyes and ears everywhere, so she’s indispensable to our security team. Say hi, F.R.I.D.A.Y!”

“Hello, Midtown,” F.R.I.D.A.Y said. There were scattered greetings from the group of teenagers.

Rachel clapped her hands together after slipping back into her shoes. “Alright! Who wants to go first? Make sure to remove your shoes and anything metal from your person.”

Flash shoved to the front of the group and stepped through before anyone else could move.

“Eugene Thompson. Code Blue. Access level one. Nothing prohibited on person.”

Cindy Moon was next and she raised her hand before stepping out of her boots. “What does all of that mean?”

“SI has four levels of clearance; Blue, Green, Gold, and Red. Each clearance has ten levels of access. The higher the number, the more things you can do,” Rachel explained as the girl went through to make way for the next student. “Blue badges are meant for guests, like yourselves, and press and have limited access to the building. Green badge holders are usually basic employees and the maintenance crew who need a higher level of access to take care of our building. Gold badges are for interns and the heads of department, and finally, Red. Red badges are very rare and only a handful of people have access to the whole building. The Avengers are all Code Red, as well as Mrs. Stark and our head of security, but only a few select people have unlimited access to everything with an access level of ten. Two of whom are Mr. And Mrs. Stark.”

At the mention of the Avengers, a few teenagers broke into excited whispers. Guessing their thoughts, Rachel chuckled. “I hate to rain on your parade, but it’s very rare that one of the Avengers should leave the higher floors. It’s likely we won’t come across any while we’re here. However, on the off chance that we do, I ask that you respect their personal space and their decisions on answering questions or signing autographs. And, while we’re on the topic, let’s go over some other rules, shall we?”

Peter hung back as half the class was cleared, standing around Rachel on the other side of the checkpoint as she told the students to keep their hands to themselves and keep from wandering off lest they be injured or get lost. There was only a handful of teenagers left and the boy found himself sweating nervously. Usually, he had no problem with hearing his clearance; the employees at SI knew him well enough by then and were all aware of his position as Tony Stark’s personal intern. He knew what his clearance was and it was obvious that he’d have Code Red, but he wasn’t that excited for his classmates to find that out and give Flash yet another thing to mock. He’d likely claim that the system was glitched or that his badge was a fake.

“You okay, dude?” Ned asked, gently nudging Peter in the ribs with his elbow.

“Yeah, it’s just… Well, my clearance will probably cause some problems,” Peter admitted with a grimace.

“So? Imagine Flash’s face when he sees that you’re top dog!”

MJ chuckled darkly at that and swiftly retrieved her Crisis Notebook from her bag. Peter saw a few pages as she flipped to a blank sheet and laughed at the many sketches she’d done of an angry, speechless, gaping Flash since they’d arrived.

“Come through, kiddos,” Rachel called, and Peter swallowed thickly when he realized they were the last three, Mr. Warren having gone before them. Ned patted Peter’s shoulder reassuringly before going first.

“Edward Leeds. Code Blue. Access level four. Welcome back, Ned.”

The whole class stared at that and Flash whipped around to face Rachel. “Why the hell is his access level higher?”

“I thought I recognized you,” Rachel said, ignoring Flash completely. She smiled at Ned. “You two are Peter’s friends, right?”

Ned nodded, pleased, and exchanged a few more words with the woman before it was MJ’s turn.

“Michelle Jones. Code Blue. Access level four. Welcome back, MJ.”

The second she was on the other side, MJ began furiously sketching Flash as he stood there, face red and teeth grinding in his anger.

Peter took a deep breath and followed the girl, closing his eyes when F.R.I.D.A.Y scanned his body.

“Peter Parker. [Classified] Code Red. Access level ten. Welcome home, mini-Boss. I have notified Boss of your arrival,” F.R.I.D.A.Y said in a slightly more human voice.

“Uh, that’s fine, Fri. I’m pretty sure he already knows,” Peter said awkwardly, silently cursing F.R.I.D.A.Y’s nickname for him as his class began whispering.

“Did she call him mini-Boss?”

“What’s that mean?”

“Why’s his clearance so high?”

“Flash was the one lying!”

“Does she mean Tony Stark?”

“He told me to notify him when your tour begins,” F.R.I.D.A.Y said. After a second, she added, “He wants me to tell you to enjoy the tour.”

Peter sighed in defeat and trudged over to his class. “Thanks, Fri.”

“Of course,” she replied, a hint of humor lacing her voice. It was the most human she’d sounded through the whole ordeal and Peter flushed.

“How much did you pay them, Penis?” Flash hollered suddenly, receiving a sharp glare from Mr. Warren and a deep scowl from Rachel. “I bet you hacked the AI to say that and paid off a few employees to say you worked here.”

“Mr. Thompson,” Rachel scolded, “we do not tolerate name-calling in this building. Peter is a valuable asset here at SI and he’s helped myself and my coworkers with projects on more than one occasion. Any clearance he might have he is completely deserving of.”

“There's no way he's got that kind of clearance, even if he does work here!” Flash spat. “He probably hired one of you to hack that stupid AI!”

Rachel turned her cool glare on him and straightened. “Mr. Thompson, that is quite enough. Not only are you insinuating that one of our employees went directly against company policy to tamper with Mr. Stark’s own invention, but you are also suggesting that his AI can be hacked. You'll do well to remember who owns this building.”

Peter shared a look with Ned at that. The latter snickered behind his hand while Peter gave an amused smile. MJ simply rolled her eyes beside them, well aware of their little escapade.

“Whatever,” Flash grumbled, though he had the decency to look a little ashamed.

“Good. Now, there are ninety-three floors in this building. We will go no higher than seventy-four, as the higher levels serve as a home for the Avengers and house Tony Stark and Bruce Banner’s private labs. Our first stop will be to the four floors that serve as the Avengers’ museum. Please refrain from touching anything unless specifically given permission by myself or one of SI’s other employees.”

As the teenagers followed her passed the checkpoint and to the elevator on one side of the lobby, Flash slowed his steps to shoulder-check Peter. His spine tingled and he resisted the urge to listen to his Spidey-sense screaming danger! Move left!

Flash’s hand clapped down on his shoulder with enough strength to seriously hurt if he hadn’t had superhero capabilities. The boy leaned down and hissed in his ear, “What’d you have to do to get that badge, Penis?”

The whole class jumped when F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice sounded all around them, an angry undertone to her irish lilt, “You do not have the clearance to question Peter, Mr. Thompson. Please remove your hand from his person.”

Flash grew red in the face as everyone turned back to stare. Rachel cleared her throat when he made no move to withdraw his hand. Realizing that, Flash jolted away like he’d been burned and scowled deeply at the ceiling. A moment later, Rachel captured the class’ attention once more and led them into the elevator. Once everyone was in, she swiped her badge and the doors closed.


	3. What You Get When You Cross the God of Mischief With the Embodiment of Patriotism

About half an hour later, they’d visited two of the four floors dedicated to the Avengers’ museum already and Peter began to relax, having seen no signs of any of the Avengers crashing his field trip. He was actually starting to get interested; he hadn’t actually ever seen the museum and it was pretty cool to see old suits and artifacts taken as trophies from the various Bad Guys™ they’d battled. Peter’s favorite thing, however, had to be the Hall of Heroes. He recalled Tony mentioning something about it a few months back, but he’d never seen it for himself.

The Hall of Heroes, as Rachel explained, was a whole floor of the museum dedicated to honoring past and present Avengers. The Ironman section, which Peter went to first; showcased the old Mark I and a few other suits Tony had designed as well as some of his prototypes for weapons. At the bottom of each hero's name plaque, it listen a few fun facts about them.

“Peter, it’s yours!” Ned whisper-shouted, tugging his best friend along to another section of the Hall. Peter’s eyes widened when he spotted it.

It really was his. Spider-Man’s, anyway. Behind the glass was the first suit he’d ever worn and a few older web shooter prototypes. Unlike the other heroes, his name plaque simply said ‘Spider-Man’. He realized he was the only one, really, with a real secret identity.

“Dude, you’re afraid of spiders?” Ned asked and MJ chuckled.

Peter glanced down below his name and frowned at the ‘fun fact’. “Imagine getting bit by a spider and then gaining abilities you have no idea what to do with. It was traumatizing. Plus, is there anyone out there who’s not afraid of spiders?”

“Fair point.”

Peter rolled his eyes good-naturedly and read the other facts.

  1. Spider-Man is afraid of spiders.
  2. Spider-Man sewed his first suit by himself. That’s right, ladies, Spider-Man can sew! ;)



Peter choked on a laugh at that, both incredibly mortified and also a bit flattered that his dad was indirectly acting as Spider-Man’s wingman.

  1. Spider-Man is a genius! He makes his own web solution and helps Ironman design new tech for the Avengers!



His dad thought he was a genius? Ironman thought Peter Parker was a genius? Enough to tell everyone who visited the Hall?

It was only when Ned looked at him in concern and gently prodded him with a finger that Peter realized he’d been staring silently. He felt a tear slide down his cheek and he wiped his face on his sleeve. “Peter? Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. Sorry, it’s just… it’s nothing. I’m okay,” he said quietly, turning away from his section to find Rachel and rejoin the group.

When he spotted a set of highly familiar and poorly disguised shoulders on the other side of the room instead of the tour guide, Peter groaned, his Avenger-free high wearing off, and made his way over. “Uncle Steve, a pair of shades and a baseball cap won’t keep people from recognizing you. Your face is literally plastered on posters in schools all over America. Did Dad put you up to this?”

Steve turned around, eyes wide in surprise, but when he spotted Peter, he relaxed. “Tony? No. Pepper told me to keep an eye on you.”

“Mom told you to crash my field trip?” Peter asked incredulously. And here he’d thought his mother was the responsible, no-nonsense kind of woman! She’d promised!

Steve grimaced. “F.R.I.D.A.Y told her that you’ve been having trouble with a classmate. What's going on?”

Peter sighed. “Nothing. I'm fine.”

Steve quirked a brow, unconvinced. “Peter, I know that's not true.”

“It's really nothing,” he insisted, voice low. “It's nothing I can't handle. I've dealt with much worse as Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Man or not, Pete, no one should have to deal with bullying.”

“Uncle Steve, I promise I'm fine. If it gets to be too much, I’ll tell one of you, okay?”

Steve looked ready to protest, but a shrill scream interrupted his thoughts and Peter winced as a few of his classmates rounded the corner and recognized the man towering over Peter.

“Oh. Em. Gee!” Cindy shrieked, causing more classmates to gather.

“It’s Captain America!”

“Mr. Rogers, will you sign my backpack?”

Steve met Peter’s eyes and he frowned, lowering his voice. “Sorry, Pete. Do you want me to be Uncle Steve or Steve Rogers?”

Peter sighed in regret and shrugged. “The last one would be easier to explain to my class.”

“Sure thing, Pete,” Steve said before straightening and assuming a professional distance between the two. He turned to the teenagers gathering around him and flashed a grin. He began signing things for the students and took a few selfies.

“Mr. Rogers, do you know Peter?”

Peter inwardly groaned when he recognized Flash as one of the students who’d appeared and nearly threw himself out the nearest window when he opened his mouth to, most likely, try to discredit Peter.

Steve glanced over at the boy and nodded. “Mr. Parker is an intern here. We’ve seen each other around the Tower.”

“Are you sure he didn’t pay you to say that?” Flash asked, glaring at Peter with thinly veiled hatred.

Peter gulped when Steve tensed, trying to convince himself that Captain America would never kill an unarmed teenager.

“Are you the student who’s been harrassing Peter? I won’t tolerate bullies, Mister. Peter is one of the most hardworking interns in this building, not to mention Tony Stark’s so-”

“Steve,” Peter squeaked, interrupting him before he could finish his sentence around the half-dozen kids surrounding them.

Steve nodded once back at the boy and stepped back, face smoothing over as he regained control of his emotions. Peter breathed out in relief.

“Don’t let me hear that you’ve been bullying Peter again,” he said to Flash, voice hard. He reached out to gently squeeze Peter’s shoulder and then crossed the room to the elevator.

“Was that Captain America?” Ned squealed as him and MJ joined the crowd.

Flash scoffed and shoved passed them, shooting one last deathly glare at Peter before disappearing.

“We’ve literally beaten him at Mario Cart before, loser,” MJ pointed out.

“Well, yeah, but… still.”

“C’mon, guys. Rachel is taking them to the next floor,” Peter said softly. His friends shared a look before trailing after him.

On the next floor, Rachel turned and smiled brightly. “This is my personal favorite part of the museum! Scattered around the room is a collection of assorted weapons and gadgets from past fights, as well as a few prototypes the Avengers were able to acquire from HYDRA labs. Unfortunately, you’ll have to look as we pass through. Our next stop is to the R&D labs, where I’m stationed!”

As Peter passed by the display cases, he recognized a replica of Loki’s scepter from the Battle of New York. He pointed it out to Ned, who very nearly pressed himself up against the glass to take a look.

“Is that his actual scepter?” the boy asked Peter, eyes wide and hopeful.

“Uh, I don’t think so. It would probably be a security risk,” he said. “I don’t even think Dad has it.”

“He doesn’t,” confirmed a familiar voice, causing Peter to stifle a smile. “Not here, at least.”

Since they were near the back of the group, no one seemed to notice the trickster god in their presence, yet, so Peter whipped around and threw his arms around his favorite uncle. “Uncle Loki!”

“T-that’s… that’s L-loki,” Ned squeaked.

The Asgardian gently shoved Peter away from his body, holding him out with one hand against his chest in a show of disgust (Peter knew the man loved his hugs, despite his protests saying otherwise, so he only grinned) and eyed Ned. “Quite.”

“Oh! Uh, Ned, this is Loki. Uncle Loki, this is Ned. He’s my best friend,” Peter added. “And this is our friend, MJ.”

Loki eyed the two teenagers and dipped his head in acknowledgement. MJ was quiet, as usual, but she’d gotten a curious look in her eyes and Ned was practically hyperventilating.

Shooting a quick look at his class which was slowly making their way to the other side of the room, Peter frowned. “What are you doing here? Mom said you promised to stay upstairs!”

Loki followed his gaze to the students and didn’t look away. He scowled. “I was made aware that one of these filthy Midgardians was bothering you. Tell me which one it is and I shall make it rue the day it was ever born!”

“Oh, that’s Fla-” Ned started, but Peter stomped on his foot and grimaced as the other boy yelped.

“It’s no one. I’m fine,” Peter said quickly when one of the stragglers at the back of the group turned at the exclamation. “You better go if you don’t want to be swarmed with ‘filthy Midgardians’, Uncle Loki.”

_“Is that Loki?”_

_“Hey guys, look, it’s Loki!”_

Peter winced as the god turned his attention to the students running up to them. “Too late. Please don’t kill anyone!” Loki nodded, but something flashed in his eyes and Peter hurried to add, “And no maiming, either!”

Loki frowned in disappointment and stepped back as the whole tour group made their way over. Peter noted that his uncle’s frown had grown to be more annoyed and his hand twitched at his side, so he stepped in front of the man to give him more space. Thankfully, both were saved from acting when a loud voice boomed behind them, effectively capturing everyone’s attention.

“Brother! There you are! The one they call Friday told me you left to find mini-Stark!”

Peter closed his eyes as his face heated up, wishing he had something hard to knock himself out with.

_“Oh. My. THOR!”_

_“That’s Thor! It’s really him!”_

_“Do you think he’d let me hold his hammer?”_

_“I’d like to hold his-”_

“Ah, hello, Tonyson,” Thor greeted, thankfully cutting off whatever remark was about to be said, spotting Peter standing at Loki’s side.

Peter cracked open his eyes and managed a weak smile. “Hey, Uncle Thor.”

“Mr. Thor, sir, can you sign my backpack?” Cindy asked hopefully as the tour group shifted their attention from one brother to the other. It seemed that Rachel seemed resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to gain control over the situation, and she stood nearby as she waited for the students to let the excitement out of their systems.

“Of course, small Midgardian!” Thor said.

Loki seemed to breathe out in relief as the teenagers swarmed around Thor, instead, including a near-squealing Ned and a disinterested MJ. Peter gently tapped his arm and smiled, waiting expectantly. The god glanced down at him and frowned. “Four,” he said simply.

When Loki first began warming up to Peter, the boy had the idea to give him a way to communicate the levels of mischief he was feeling. A one on a scale to ten meant that Loki would probably just end up hiding a toothbrush while a ten was more dangerous-- Peter had never seen Loki at a ten; the highest he's gotten was a solid seven-- and would probably, very likely, result in the literal apocalypse.

Peter nodded, relieved, and hesitated only a second before hugging the man. Even if his class noticed the exchange, calming Loki down was more important if he didn’t want to end up with a deceased science class or, at the very least, a few maimed students. “If you want, you can come with us. As long as you promise not to cause any trouble,” he added, looking up at him with a smile.

Loki seemed to think for a moment before nodding. Peter stepped back from the god when Rachel cleared her throat. “Okay, kiddos, I know this is exciting, but we do have a schedule. Follow me, please.”

There were disappointed sighs from the students, but after a promise to pop back in later in the tour, they let Thor go and continued after Rachel to the elevator. Flash eyed Peter dangerously as he entered, but wisely decided not to say anything when he noticed Loki hovering just behind the boy in what could only be described as a protective stance. A few seconds later, the tour group was on their way up to the labs.


	4. How Do You Keep a Room Full of Idiots in Suspense

There’d been a few odd stares and a lot of whispering when the class realized that Loki was shadowing Peter and some of the students had even asked for autographs and such. Loki seemed uncomfortable at first, but after Peter tapped the back of his hand in a gesture of discreet comfort, he’d reluctantly given in and signed a few backpacks. If Peter hadn’t known any better, he would have thought his uncle was actually pleased at the attention.

A few minutes later, Rachel was leading them through an R&D lab, Loki all but forgotten in the excitement of seeing prototypes at work behind shatter-proof glass.

“These are our Research and Development labs,” Rachel explained, waving at an intern Peter vaguely recognized. “If you follow me, I can show you to the main lab on this floor and let you guys see what we’re working on up here! It’s actually a really neat project, because our labs don’t often get to work on Avengers tech. That privilege is mostly reserved for Mr. Stark and his personal intern, but they needed a team with fresh eyes and a new perspective to look over their work. Right now, we’re working on upgrading Spider-Man’s web shooters to be compatible with the new web fluid formulas-- well, actually, the new formulas that Peter gave us.”

Peter returned Rachel’s smile, albeit a little awkwardly as his class stared, bewildered. The woman winked at him before continuing on, reaching a glass door at the end of the hallway. “This is it! Remember to keep your hands to yourself unless given permission, because some of the stuff in here can be a little danger- oh! Hello, Dr. Banner,” Rachel said, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. There were more gasps from the class as they filed in to see Bruce sitting behind a table working with one of the interns.

Bruce glanced up, his eyes sweeping curiously over the group of teenagers huddled in the lab. When he spotted Peter, his eyes widened a fraction before realization washed over his face. “Oh, Peter! Can you come over here for a second? You have more understanding of these formulas than we do. We can’t seem to get this one to activate.”

Peter send a hesitant look at the faces all turned to stare incredulously at him, Flash’s own face a bright red as he tried to understand how the _Hulk_ knew _Peter Parker_. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Bruce smiled as the boy wandered over to look at the calculations spread out between Bruce and the intern he’d been working with. “Uh, well, you forgot to purify it with the Silica gel after washing it. And it’s supposed to be cooled for thirty minutes, not twenty.”

The two looked to where Peter was pointing and Bruce nodded. “I guess I misread that. Thanks, Peter.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Would you like to demonstrate the Web Shooters to your class, Peter, while we’re here and since you work so closely with Spider-Man?” Rachel asked with a sly grin at the boy. “You probably know how they work better than any of us.”

Peter flushed at that, his super-senses picking up Flash’s quiet grumble, “ _There’s no way he knows Spider-Man. He’s too cool to hang around Parker._ ”

“I guess,” Peter relented, accepting the Web Shooter from Bruce’s hand. He glanced at where Loki would have been, but the god seemed to have disappeared.

Peter placed the Web Shooter on his arm and felt some of the tension in his shoulders relax at the familiar weight of it against his skin. Feeling slightly more confident (he was in his element, now, and the sounds of the lab were familiar and welcoming) Peter straightened and smiled at his class.

“The Web Shooters are actually really simple to use,” he explained as he held his arm up for the teenagers to see. “Spider-Man doesn’t have a lot of time to think when he’s fighting, so the Web Shooters are activated by these two fingers pressing the button right above the wrist.”

Peter aimed his hand at the wall above his classmates’ heads and pressed the button, chuckling a little at the startled squeaks when the web shot over them. When he caught Bruce’s eye, the older man motioned for him to continue with a proud smile. It made Peter stand a little taller as he explained the various formulas he’d created. “The original formula works great, but Spider-Man was worried that it was causing problems for local enforcement because it’s so hard to clean and water doesn’t dissolve it, so I came up with a few ideas for different types of webs. For example, one solution is meant more for transportation, so the web it creates will be strong enough to hold Spider-Man’s weight and sticky enough to, well, _stick_ , but I’ve also made sure it’s biodegradable and leaves little to no residue. There’s also a solution for holding criminals that’s more friendly on human skin and strong enough to keep them from moving so the local enforcement can get to them.”

When he finished speaking, the realization dawned on him that he’d been practically showing off to his class. He stood awkwardly for a moment, fiddling with the Web Shooter on his arm, before Rachel cleared her throat and smiled. “So! Does anyone have any questions for Peter?”

Several hands went up. Peter was relieved to see that Flash’s was not one of them.

“Uh, Sally?”

“When did you get so _cool_?” she asked with a silly grin.

Peter blushed, reaching up to scratch his head. “Uh…”

“Peter’s always been cool,” Ned said, sending a sharp look at Flash. Rachel nodded in agreement.

Peter smiled awkwardly. “Uh, I’m actually not-”

“Are you _kidding_ ?” Cindy piped up, looking excited. “You’re like… way cool! You know _Captain America_!”

“And Thor!” called another voice.

“And me!” chimed a voice. The tour group looked around in confusion as Peter groaned.

“Uh, hi, Shuri,” Peter greeted, well aware that if he ignored her or lied, she’d make his life hell.

_“Shuri? The Princess of Wakanda?”_

_“Is that really her?”_

_“What the f-”_

“Hey, Pete, I’ve got a joke for you,” Shuri said over the speakers.

“Let’s hear it,” he said miserably as his class waited with bated breath.

“How do you keep a room full of idiots in suspense?”

“How?” He winced, steeling himself for whatever Shuri had planned. Instead of her voice, a loud _click_ sounded.

A second of silence followed before Rachel snickered behind her hand. It seemed to thaw everyone out, and soon, there were more testaments to Peter’s apparent _coolness_.

Peter opened his mouth to reply-- with _what_ he had no idea-- when Flash finally snapped.

“Are you serious? I’ll admit, even I believe he wasn’t lying about his internship, but there’s no way he actually knows any of them! He’s probably blackmailing them to act all friendly! That probably wasn’t even Shuri,” he spat.

“Mr. Thompson, that’s enough! One more word out of you, and you’ll be sent back to the bus,” Mr. Warren threatened.

Peter turned when he felt Bruce lay a hand on his shoulder. “How long has he been bothering you, Peter?”

The boy sighed and rested his head against the wall, closing his eyes. “Since Freshman year, but it’s really nothing I can’t handle, and-”

“You shouldn’t _have_ to handle it,” Bruce said sharply, withdrawing his hand and making his way over to Flash. “Thompson, wasn’t it?”

Flash glanced up at Bruce and nodded, casting a smug look at Peter from around the scientist. “That’s right, sir.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, activate You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry Protocol,” Bruce said and Peter swallowed. _Uh oh._

“You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry Protocol activated. Miss Romanov is on her way,” F.R.I.D.A.Y replied.

At that, Bruce straightened and glared down at the boy, the veins in the back of his neck turning slightly green and Peter sincerely hoped Nat would get there soon. Just in case, Peter sent a panicked look at Rachel, who seemed to get the idea. He heard some of the students frantically whispering when they recognized Nat’s name, but he tuned them out.

“Alright, kiddos, let’s move on, okay? Follow me, please. Flash, you too,” she added, ushering the class and Mr. Warren out of the lab. They moved slowly, craning their necks when they heard Bruce raise his voice. Flash didn’t seem to move, his smug expression still on his face.

“Peter is a bright kid, and one of the most kind-hearted people I’ve ever met,” he hissed at Flash, who finally seemed to register the situation. He began backing away, eyes widening and jaw going slack in fear. “And if I _ever_ hear you talk that way about him again, I will _personally_ see to it that you never talk again!”

Peter tugged on Bruce’s hand and stepped between the two. “Uncle Bruce, calm down! It’s okay!”

Just as the green was starting to spread to Bruce’s left cheek, Natasha sped through the door and appraised the situation before snatching Flash’s arm and violently shoving him back through the door to where the class was smushed up against the glass watching.

“Hey, big guy,” Nat said softly, keeping her eyes on Bruce’s as she motioned with one hand for Peter to slip past her and out the door. “The sun’s going down. It’s okay.”

Not having to be told twice, Peter joined his class outside of the lab where Rachel was trying to get the students to move to the elevator. “Students, please follow me and come away from the glass.”

Peter could she was getting both frightened and desperate when no one listened and he almost called for F.R.I.D.A.Y to get someone when a familiar, Sokovian voice sounded from behind him and he relaxed.

“Peter? What’s going on?”

_“Guys, look, it’s Scarlet Witch!”_

“Aunt Wanda, thank Thor! Aunt Nat’s inside with Uncle Bruce, but-”

Wanda nodded, cutting him off. “Understood.”

Rachel breathed out in relief when Wanda greeted the class and captured their attention, using both her power of persuasion and status as a celebrity to slowly draw everyone away from the labs. Flash, still a bit shell-shocked, was led by the arm behind Mr. Warren.

“I’m sure you’re all hungry, no?” she asked after a second, leading them back towards the elevator. Peter glanced back at the lab when she ushered them into the elevator, grateful to see Bruce significantly calmer as Nat draped an arm over his shoulder, speaking softly to him.

The last thing he saw when the doors closed was Nat’s head snap up to glare at what he was definitely sure was a very red-faced Flash.

♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥.·:*:·.♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥

·.·´`·.·•BOOP•·.·´`·.·

  
A half hour later found the Midtown tour group relaxing in the food court. After the shock of meeting Wanda wore off, the students had dispersed to explore the large, open room and ordered as much food as they could possibly eat from the dozens of chain restaurants set up inside after Rachel explained that it was all free for the tour group. Peter had sent Ned to grab whatever looked good while he chose a table. When he returned thirty minutes later, arms full of paper bags from various places, Wanda scooted over on the bench to give him room to sit. Loki had joined them too, for a bit, before Thor arrived and called him back to the penthouse, leaving several more students with signed bags and a new respect for Peter.

“You eat like we don’t feed you,” Wanda told Peter in fascinated amusement as he shoveled his fourth helping of Taco Bell taco packs into his mouth, and that was after the three trips he’d taken to McDonalds

The boy took a moment to chew and swallow before replying with a grin, “I’m a growing kid. Also, spider metabolism.”

“You’re lucky,” Ned groaned, hunched over the table after finishing only a quarter of what Peter had consumed.

“I mean, I guess. It takes _a lot_ to make a difference, but it also means I’m always hungry.”

“Obviously,” MJ said with an eyeroll, snatching a fry from one of his empty McDonalds bags. 

Just as Peter finished off the last of his food, a loud shriek filled the room. Everyone’s heads snapped up at the sound and Wanda was instantly on her feet, hands raised in a defensive position.

“PETEY!”

Spotting the whirlwind of youthful energy moving towards him, Peter stood and braced himself for impact. Cassie threw herself into his arms, the two of them crashing to the floor and erupting into laughter. Realizing no one was in danger, Wanda chuckled and reclaimed her seat. The students who’d been staring slowly went back to their food and conversations.

“Hey, Cassie. I thought you were going to hang out with Uncle Sam today,” Peter said, pushing himself off of the cafeteria floor and shifting her into a piggyback ride.

“She was hungry,” Scott explained, walking up to the group with a smile, “and since we knew you’d be down here, she asked to come eat with her cousin.”

Peter heard Ned squeak behind him and he chuckled. “Uh, Scott, this is my best friend, Ned, and our friend, MJ.”

Ned leapt to his feet, momentarily forgetting his food-induced nausea and waved. “Y-you’re Ant-Man!”

Scott laughed and nodded, offering a hand for the boy to shake. Ned did so with a bright grin. “Sure am. Nice to meet you, Ned.”

Ned turned back around to face MJ, loudly whispering, “ _Ant-Man shook my hand!_ ”

“Whatever, loser,” she replied disinterestedly.

Feeling eyes on him at Ned’s not-so-quiet announcement, Scott extended a hand to his daughter. “C’mon, peanut. Let’s get some food. We’ll see Peter later.”

Cassie frowned and clung onto Peter’s back, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. “Aw…”

Peter turned his head to smile at her. “We’ll play some more Hide-and-Seek after dinner tonight, okay?”

She perked up at that. “Promise?” she asked, holding out a pinkie.

“Promise,” he swore, wrapping his pinkie around hers before setting her on her feet.

“Okay! Bye, Petey!" 

“See ya, kid,” Scott said, leading his daughter away from the group.

“That was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” Rachel said when she walked up, grinning madly as Peter grew flustered.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, Cassie’s a cute kid.”

Rachel’s grin softened and she glanced at the trio behind him. “We’ll be moving on in a few. I haven’t told anyone else, but Mr. Stark gave us permission to visit the Avengers’ training room. I think it’ll be a fun surprise.”

Peter nodded in agreement, but he felt his heart sink low in his chest and tried not to let the skepticism show on his face; there was _no way_ that would end well for him and he hoped (in vain, he knew) that his father wasn’t planning on embarrassing him even more. It was bad enough that he was getting far more attention from his peers than he wanted and it was even worse that a few of them had made a point of stopping by his table during their break to tell him that they thought he was way cool and apologize for believing Flash over him about his internship.

Peter sighed. “Yeah, a fun surprise.”


	5. Caw Caw Motherfuckers!

There was one good thing about knowing beforehand just what to expect and that was that Peter had time to steel himself before they reached the training room so, at the very least, he could hold his ground a little better than before.

So, of course when he realized that, life decided to throw him a curveball in the form of a man who was trying his hardest to be sneaky and failing miserably.

Peter stared up at the creaking ceiling in exasperation and breathed out. “I can hear you up there.”

Some of his classmates turned when they heard him talking to the ceiling and gave him weird looks. Only Ned and MJ seemed to know exactly what was taking place. When the creaking stopped, Peter quirked a brow, ignoring the whispers starting up around him.

“Not moving doesn’t change the fact that I know you’re up there, Uncle Clint.”

With a loud clang, the vent above them burst open and Clint fell to the ground, tucking into a roll and ending up right in front of the boy. He rose to his feet and grinned widely, showing his teeth. “Hey there, mini-Stark.”

Resigned to his fate of dying from mortification, Peter only sighed when his peers crowded around the archer, asking the man for autographs or pictures. Clint, with a smirk over his shoulder at Peter, signed each and every backpack, phone case, and in one case an arm, as slowly as possible to annoy the boy and took longer than necessary to choose a pose for each selfie.

Rachel, to her credit, seemed to take it in stride, probably having realized that there would be more interruptions on her tour. She joined Peter as the teenagers freaked out over Hawkeye and crossed her arms. “I have a feeling there’s a joke here, and I know it includes you, but I don’t know what it is.”

Peter groaned and rolled his eyes. “Trust me, if I could have kept them all away, I would have. They’re only showing up to embarrass me.”

The woman laughed at that and side-eyed him. “I take it it’s working?”

He shrugged, watching in fond amusement as Ned-- the same Ned who’d literally seen Clint the week before as he obliterated him in chess too many times to count-- asked Clint for a picture. “It did. But having more than five Avengers crash your field trip sort of makes you used to it. Actually, I expected Birdbrain to show up much sooner than he did,” Peter admitted. “The only one I’m worried about now is Da- Mr. Stark.”

Rachel seemed to catch his slip, but didn’t question it. She only nodded. “Well, if it makes you feel better, they really made your classmates’-- well, probably their whole year.”

Peter looked back over at his class and nodded, allowing a smile to tug at his lips. “Yeah, I guess they did. At least something came out of my personal hell.”

The woman laughed and shook her head.

“Bye, Hawkeye!” Cindy cried, capturing the duo’s attention. Peter watched as Clint gave them a salute before leaping up, back into the vent with a wink in his direction.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, initiate Animal Control Protocol subsection: Bird in the Vents,” Peter said with a smirk of his own.

“Bird in the Vents Protocol activated,” F.R.I.D.A.Y replied with humor lacing her voice.

Rachel looked at him in confusion before continuing her position as Tour Guide. When they reached the elevator, there was a loud  _ thunk _ above them followed by a startled yelp and another  _ thunk _ . Peter stifled a laugh.

“Did that have to do with the protocol you initiated?” Rachel asked curiously as the doors closed.

Peter nodded, turning red when his class stared expectantly at him. “Oh, uh… Well, Un- Clint likes to go into the vents and jump out at the Avengers. Mr. Stark and I invented a sturdy glass that’s invisible to the human eye a few months ago and when F.R.I.D.A.Y activates a certain protocol, she moves the sheets to whichever room Clint is in and puts them in his path. We, uh… we thought it was funny, because he’ll run into them sort of like when a bird flies into a window.”

Rachel covered her mouth with a hand to stifle her own laughter and Peter rubbed his arm awkwardly as his class merely stared. His heart sunk for the second time that day when Flash spoke, apparently back to his old self.

“You can’t actually expect us to believe you work with  _ Tony Stark _ ,” he said, opening his mouth to add more, but he was cut off by a very annoyed Abe.

“Cut it out, Flash. Can’t you just admit that you were wrong?”

“Yeah,” Cindy piped in. “Honestly, now it’s just sad.”

Peter felt his face warm as Rachel nudged him with a smile. He met Ned’s eyes to see him beaming, gesturing to where MJ was suddenly sketching a flabbergasted Flash, his face turning an inhuman shade of purple. Even Mr. Warren looked slightly pleased.

“Okay, I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you all,” Rachel said after a moment of silence when the elevator reached the eightieth floor. “Mr. Stark has given us permission to visit the Avengers’ training room for a lesson in self defense.”

At her words, everyone but Flash and MJ started talking excitedly, though the latter looked more interested than she had all day. When the elevator doors finally opened, even Rachel looked around curiously.

The class entered the training room to see Natasha and Bucky sparring in the center lined with target dummies and racks holding various weapons. Neither of them paid any attention, focused solely on the other as they weaved around each other. Several teenagers gasped and Peter had to admit that, if he didn’t train with them on a daily basis, he’d think it looked pretty cool, too. It was almost like watching dancers. If dancers were armed with knives and only dancing to kill you.

Nat landed a blow that had Bucky stumbling backwards and Peter leaned forward eagerly. Peter knew that Nat was the undefeated champion in the training room, but Bucky was a close second, followed by himself, so he watched in rapid fascination, as well. A few tense moments of quiet later, Nat managed to get behind the man. Her leg shot out to land a kick at the back of his knee and Bucky fell to the ground. Nat held him there with a foot on his throat before he eventually tapped her leg in surrender. Cheers erupted as Bucky rose to his feet with the help of Nat.

_ “That was so cool!” _

_ “That’s the Winter Soldier, right?” _

_ “She totally kicked his ass!” _

The two Avengers turned their attention to the tour group and Nat waved. “You guys are Midtown, right? Tony said you’d be coming up for some self defense tips. My name is Natasha Romanov, but you might know me better as Black Widow.”

Peter heard MJ inhale and let out a low, “ _ Awesome _ .”

“Tony thought it might be useful to teach the kids a lesson,” Bucky said, glaring openly at Flash who was too busy gaping at Nat to notice. Peter paled at that, wondering just what they had planned.

Mr. Warren looked ready to protest, but after seeing his students light up in excitement, he relented. “Well, I suppose if Mr. Stark thinks it’s safe…”

“Great. Who wants to go first?” Nat asked. 

Peter had a suspicion he knew who she’d pick, even before he so stupidly bragged aloud that he could probably take her down.

“You think you can beat me?” Nat asked him, quirking a brow.

“Flash, don’t be ridiculous,” Cindy said. “She’s  _ Black Widow _ .”

“Well, obviously. You’re a girl,” Flash went on, completely ignoring his classmate. “But don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.” 

MJ drew in a breath at the statement and Peter saw Ned pat her shoulder out of the corner of his eye. Something dangerous flashed in Nat’s eyes and she smirked. “How sweet.”

Not even two seconds after Flash had taken his spot on the mat, Nat had him in a chokehold on the ground, his arm twisted awkwardly behind his back. The class gasped. Before Mr. Warren could voice his concerns, Nat leaned down and hissed something in Flash’s ear that had his face pale and then she released him. He sat there for another few seconds until Bucky not-so-gently forced him up and placed him with the others by the wall. Peter could only inwardly groan, hoping that whatever she’d said to him wouldn’t be grounds for a lawsuit.

_ Oh, who was he kidding? She was black Widow. Of course it was. _

“Peter,” she called, every pair of eyes snapping to him at her address. “Давай спарринг со мной, сын-паук. (Come spar with me, spider-son.)”

Peter swallowed thickly. “Разве они не узнают, что я Человек-паук? (Won’t they figure out that I’m Spider-Man?)”

Whispers erupted from the class when they heard his hesitant, yet clean accent.

_ “Peter knows Russian?” _

_ “What’s he saying?” _

_ “Can anybody translate?” _

Nat grinned. “Они не будут. Доверьтесь мне. (They won’t. Trust me.)”

Peter sighed in defeat and nodded, taking his place on the mat.

“Если вы сдерживаетесь, вы заземлены. (If you hold back, you’re grounded.)”

“Да, мэм, (Yes, ma’am,)” he replied with an eyeroll.

When he’d assumed his defensive stance, he heard a girl behind him gasp and then Nat struck. Blocking out the excited chattering of his peers and the nerve-wracking amount of eyes on him, Peter slipped into his Spider-Man persona and dodged the fist that went whizzing past his ear.

_ Down!  _

Listening to his Spidey-senses, the boy bent over backwards and placed his hands flat on the ground to avoid her kick. Nat threw a few more punches before frowning. “Хватит колебаться Атакуй меня. (Stop hesitating. Attack me.)”

Knowing better than to argue with her, Peter went straight for her solar plexus with a foot. It was Nat’s turn to dodge and she side-stepped, reaching for his leg to throw him off balance. And so the dance began. Peter was actually pleasantly surprised when he lasted far longer than he usually did, and he’d even gotten a few good hits. His rush ended the second he pinned her onto the mat, however, and he frowned.

“Ты позволил мне победить! (You let me win!)”

Nat merely winked as he offered a hand to help her up. Seeing this, his class erupted into cheers.

_ “Holy shit, Peter beat the Black Widow!” _

_ “Where’d he learn that stuff?” _

_ “Peter, can you teach me how to do that thing you did with your elbow?” _

“Nice job, Bubba,” Bucky told Peter when he rejoined them, slinging an arm around his shoulders. He heaved a feigned sigh and turned to the class. “Well, guess that makes you Undefeated Champion number one.”

Peter turned and narrowed his eyes. “You  _ knew  _ she’d throw the fight, didn’t you?”

Bucky replied in much the same way as Nat did; a simple wink and a large smirk.


	6. Eugene Thompson and the Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or alternatively: Peter Stark and the Day He Got What He Deserves

After showing the overeager group of teens a few useful moves, Natasha eventually informed them all that their tour was almost over. Everyone but Peter seemed disappointed until Rachel added, “Thank Miss Romanov and Mr. Barnes, everyone, but don’t worry; you’ll see them again in a few minutes.”

A few heads perked up and Abe questioned why that would be. Rachel smiled knowingly as she replied, “I guess you’ll just have to see, right?”

Peter didn’t like the sound of that, but when everyone filed back into the elevator, Nat stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Not you, Сын паук (Spider-son). Rachel, Peter will catch up later. There’s an emergency in Tony’s lab and he’s needed there.”

Rachel nodded and let the doors close. Peter glanced back at them in confusion. “What happened? Is Dad okay?”

Bucky chuckled. “He’s fine, Bubba. We need you to suit up, though.”

He frowned at that. “Why? Is there a problem?”

“Just do as you’re told, spider-ling,” Nat said lovingly. Peter eyed her suspiciously before nodding and reaching around for his backpack. He unzipped it and dragged his suit out from the bottom. When Spider-Man stood there a few moments later, Nat nodded and motioned for the other two to follow her.

“Okay, seriously, Aunt Nat… Where are we going?”

She side-eyed him with a smile. “You didn’t think we’d have a Q&A without Spider-Man, did you?”

“Wait, really?” Peter asked, eyes wide as excitement overtook him.

Bucky laughed, “Well, you  _ are  _ an Avenger.”

“I am? I mean, I am! Oh my Thor, this is going to be awesome!” Peter jumped up and down in happiness before freezing. “Wait, uh… Won’t my classmates realize I’m not there? Peter, I mean.”

Nat shook her head and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as the doors chimed open. “Не волнуйся, сын паук. (Don’t worry, spider-son.)”

“Что ни говори, мама паук, (Whatever you say, spider-mom,)” Peter relented, trusting that his family wouldn’t do anything to purposely reveal him.

Seconds later, Nat was ushering both of them through a door and into a small room filled to the brim with grinning Avengers.

“Mini-Stark!” Thor stepped forward to clap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Pete,” Steve greeted with a warm smile.

Cassie left Scott’s side and hugged Peter’s waist. “Petey!”

“Hey guys,” Peter said, grinning down at Cassie. When he glanced up, Tony was standing nearby, his arm around Pepper’s shoulders.

“Whatcha been up to, Underoos?”

Peter had to laugh at such an absurd question as he hugged his father. “I hate you so much.”

Tony wrapped his free arm around the boy and chuckled into his hair. “Love you too, Pete.”

“Stop hogging our son,” Pepper piped in, snatching the boy from her husband’s arms to hug him, herself. She leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I don’t know how they managed to slip past me, but I have a suspicion your father paid off F.R.I.D.A.Y. Sorry you had to run interference.”

“It’s okay. Actually, it was pretty cool watching my class freak out over you guys when I know that you’re all dorks,” Pete teased. “Well, except for you, Mom.”

Pepper looked pleased at that and nodded approvingly. Tony rolled his eyes. “When did I become the responsible one? Chop, chop, people. There’s a swarm of snotty little brats waiting out there,” he said, gesturing to a door at the other end of the room.

Pepper chuckled and planted a kiss on Peter’s forehead before telling them to stay put. She disappeared through the door and a moment later, her voice sounded from the ceiling.

“Hello, Midtown! My name is Pepper Stark,” she said, causing Tony’s eyes to well up in pride and look down at his son with a grin. “As Miss Wilson may have told you, I’ve organized a Q&A, however, there’s been a change of plans. Instead, please help me welcome the owner of Stark Industries and the Avengers!”

Tony winked down at Peter before leading him through the door with a hand still resting on his shoulder. The class cheered loudly as each person came out to join the rest on the stage, standing in a loose line in front of the teenagers. Peter found Ned in the crowd and resisted the urge to wave frantically because he was there, on the stage, with the  _ Avengers!  _ He  _ was  _ an Avenger! It seemed Ned was thinking the same thing because the boy’s eyes widened when he spotted him and a grin broke out on his face.

_ “It’s Spider-Man! Is he an official Avenger, now?” _

_ “Look, there’s Ant-Man!” _

_ “Isn’t Thor so dreamy?” _

_ “I am in the same room as Ironman!” _

Tony squeezed Peter’s shoulder reassuringly before leaving his side to stand by Pepper. “Hello, uh…”

Pepper rolled her eyes and leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

“Midtown! Yes, that’s right… Like Pep said, this is a Q&A, so… first question?"

Every hand in the room shot up. Tony gestured to Cindy and she smiled wide. “Is Spider-Man an Avenger now?”

“Good question, kid. Yes, Spider-Man is an Avenger and has been one for some time. He’s a valuable member of our team and should have gotten an official press release years ago. Next question?” Peter felt his face flush at that and he didn’t bother to hide his grin-- his mask was hiding everything, anyway. “Yeah, you. MJ, right?”

The girl nodded before turning her attention to Nat and Wanda. “What challenges do you two face as the only two women in a male-dominant workplace?”

Peter saw Nat’s eyes shine in approval and Wanda smiled. Their answers were similar: there weren’t any. Everyone on the team was treated as equals and, in fact, Wanda had supplied with a grin, “Nat is the most intimidating Avenger. Everyone listens to her.”

The next question went to Abe, who asked Tony about his reactor technology, and after him, Cindy wondered if Steve would let her feel his bicep. Everyone had laughed at the confused expression on his face, but eventually, Bucky kicked him offstage and into the throng of teenagers so she-- and many others-- could feel him up.

Peter got a few questions asked of him, too. Mainly how it felt to be the newest Avenger (really cool, actually. It’s just one big family) or if he ever planned to reveal himself (probably not. I don’t want to be popular because I’m Spider-Man, you know?)

“Do you like working with Peter Parker?” Sally asked him.

Tony glanced at the boy with a thinly veiled smirk and Peter stumbled on his answer. “Uh, yeah. He’s a pretty cool guy, I guess. Uh, next question?”

“Hey, where  _ is  _ Peter?” someone asked suddenly.

“Yeah, where’d he go?”

Peter glanced at his father with wide eyes, but Tony seemed unworried as he gave his excuse, “Peter had to take care of something in my personal lab so that I could be here. Next question?”

“Where’s Hawkeye?”

Peter stiffened, suddenly remembering that he’d never allowed F.R.I.D.A.Y to end the protocol keeping him trapped in the vents twenty-something floors beneath them. Siding up to Tony, he tapped his shoulder to get him to lean down.

“Uh, I kind of… trapped him near the labs? Er, F.R.I.D.A.Y did, really. He was in the vents again.”

Tony barked out a sharp laugh and straightened, capturing the attention of the room once again. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, terminate Animal Control Protocol subsection: Bird in the Vents. And tell Barton where we are.”

“Terminating Bird in the Vents Protocol. Protocol terminated,” F.R.I.D.A.Y said. “Mr. Barton wants to warn Peter to watch his back and says that he’s on his way.”

When Clint eventually reached the room, red-faced and practically steaming in anger, he joined the rest of the team onstage. He spotted Peter standing near his father and glared daggers. Peter gulped at the hidden promise in his gaze:  _ You’re next, Parker. _

“Alright, we have time for one more question,” Pepper said. She gestured at one of the students and Peter inwardly groaned when he spoke, hesitant, but hard.

“Why is Pen- Peter’s clearance so high?”

Tony stared at the boy, a silence falling over the room. Everyone tensed simultaneously. When the man finally spoke, his words were slow and sharp. “I’ve heard about you, Eugene. Did you really think we’d overlook your treatment of Peter? Peter received this internship because he stood out to me as a smart, responsible kid with a heart of gold. He’s proved himself to be a valuable asset to this company and to  _ me _ and quickly rose the ranks to become my personal intern. Apparently, though, this meant nothing. Well listen closely,  _ Flash _ ,” Tony said, a mocking lilt to his voice at the nickname. “If his importance to the company means so little to you, maybe his social stature  _ will _ . Peter  _ Stark _ is my son and the future heir to my legacy. So not only did you respect the next owner of the largest, wealthiest company in the world, but you disrespected my  _ family _ . If I hear that you so much as  _ looked  _ at him again, ill-intent or not, you will find yourself blacklisted from every. Single. College in the nation and lucky if you get a job in fast food. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear.”

The room was silent enough to hear a pin drop. Or, in this case, Flash gulp. The boy, speechless and bright red, merely nodded.

“Oh, and if that didn’t convince you,” Tony added, voice taking on a casual intonation, “I’m sure every single person on this stage would love nothing more than to hunt you down and make you wish you were never born.”

Peter glanced around to find that even Pepper was glaring at Flash. And honestly, he realized that he couldn’t find it in himself to become embarrassed. Hearing Tony claim him like that-- as his  _ son _ \-- made him feel like he was swinging through the city, his heart full and his empty in the overwhelming feeling of warmth.

“Uh, hey guys,” chimed an uneasily familiar voice as the door to the room slid open. Peter had to do a double-take when he spotted his  _ own  _ head poke into the room. “Sorry I’m late. What’s going on?”

The room seemed to explode at once.

_ “You’re Mr. Stark’s son?” _

_ “Are you really the heir?” _

_ “Pepper is your mom? Lucky!” _

_ “Dude, you are  _ so  _ much cooler than we thought!” _

Peter would have grown much brighter under his mask if seeing his face hadn’t temporarily rendered him speechless. Sensing his confusion, Pepper stepped up to him and leaned in. “Don’t worry, kiddo. It’s just Loki.”

_ Oh. Loki. Obviously. _ Peter nodded dumbly as Pepper called for the teenagers to quiet down, recognizing the expressions on both Ned and MJ’s faces. They glanced up at him and he shrugged.  _ I’ll explain later, _ it said. They both nodded.

“I’m afraid your tour has come to an end,” Pepper announced. “Please follow Miss Wilson back down to the lobby. Once there, she’ll have you sign NDA’s for everything you have seen or heard today. Mr. Warren, if it’s alright, we’d like to keep Peter since he’d be coming back right after, anyway.”

The man nodded once, looking just as shell-shocked as Flash. He refused to meet Tony’s eyes, even as the billionaire offered his hand for a farewell shake. Peter watched as Not-Peter made his way over to Pepper, removing himself from the cluster of teenagers. Peter turned to face his not-self and smiled. “Thanks, Uncle Loki.”

“Of course, mini-Stark,” Not-Peter said, a slight smirk on his face when he used Thor’s nickname.

♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥.·:*:·.♥.·:*¨¨*:·.♥·.·´`·.·•BOOP•·.·´`·.·

  
  


Later, after Loki changed back and Peter was back with his class in the lobby, his suit tucked safely away in the bottom of his backpack, the boy quickly explained what had happened to his friends before being mobbed by his family. Peter, no longer embarrassed, only grinned and waved his class out the door with his dad at his back, his mom at his side, and his many, many,  _ many _ aunts and uncles, whom he loved dearly, surrounding him.

And he couldn’t have been happier.


End file.
